Hands on a miracle

I'm not a religious person. I question what I was raised to believe. But I know that there is definitely something or someone much greater than you and me. I am guilty in times of darkness, reaching out to God. Mostly because I'm not sure what else do when in that state of desperation. So, when I found out about my dad, I did the only thing I could do. Pray. And ask for a miracle. Despite knowing that I really had no right to ask.

While the reality is that my dad still has cancer...the miracle is that what they thought had spread to his lungs turned out to be a false shadow. In his own words, and style, below is the message he sent out to friends and family...

Subject: W.L.Graves. Melanoma report #5 (The first four were only rumors.)

FLASH: News release. Shingle Springs, CA, 6:00 pm, Monday, October 11, 2010.


Just got a call from the surgeon who looked at the PET results from last Friday. He said that the “shadow” that showed up on the CT of a lymph node near the trachea (an inoperable location) was a false shadow. There were more lymph nodes infected however where the previous ones had been removed during the original surgery. That will be simpler and not (hopefully) require going to Riverside for treatment.


BACK TO OLD STUFF….

• Back itching as early as June. (Couldn’t miss our planned five week RV trip!)
• First saw internist at Kaiser, Folsom, on. August 11.required for a referral. He measured the melanoma, threw up his hands and referred me to a dermatologist at Rancho Cordova on same day where they took a peace of my back, put it in a bio envelope and mailed it to China for analyses.
• Kaiser called and set up an appointment with a surgeon at Roseville for August 23. Interim CT, chest x-ray and blood tests.
• Conference with surgeon at Roseville on September 9th.
• September 15: Surgery at Roseville after scan for lymph nodes. Removed eight lymph nodes one of which was infected. Two melanomas found on back. Not all removed because that might have required a skin graft. (Have plenty of extra skin hanging around?) (The surgery for the lymph nodes under the arm, is taking longer to heal than the back incision.)
• September 30. Conference with oncologist. Need a PET scan to see how far melanoma has spread. Shadows found on lymph node next to trachea. Possible IL-2 treatment (what ever that is) but it is only in Riverside (Southern CA)! For some reason radiation and chemo don’t work well on melanoma. (Amputation is frowned upon except in the Philippines.)
• October 8. PET/CT scan at Morse in Sacramento. (Got a little nap in a large humming donut.)
• Report #6 after scheduled conference with oncologist on October 22. So far W.L has not experienced any ill effects.

Note: For those of you who do not know our area, the Kaiser facilities we are using are; Folsom, 15 miles west; Rancho Cordova, 25 west; Morse, 35 miles west; Roseville, 30 miles north; Riverside, 479.6 miles south.. Morse and Roseville are full hospitals. This will make a good deduction on our Taxes.

Those who know me, know how much this has been weighing heavy on my mind. And that my ability to deal with the idea of losing my father has caused me to face mortality in a way that I never have. It's been life changing...more so than I can explain. I have spent many days and nights re-evaluating my life and what's important. And while my emotions have run the gamut, I've chosen to not make any major decisions until I know that I am of complete sound mind. Which at this point may be a very long time...and that's ok. The beautiful thing about where I am in life is that no major decisions have to be made right here, right now. My focus for the time being is to be happy and not hurt anyone along the way.


So, yes, another Foo video...sometimes it just works out that way and that makes me happy!



Hands on a miracle
I got my hands on a miracle
Leave it or not, hands on a miracle
And there ain't no way
Let you take it away