Music is my boyfriend...

Can't explain what it is that is going on with me lately, but music seems to be the only thing I can count on to express what's in my head. Or is it my heart? Maybe a little bit in my soul. Normally a victim to the radio by choice, so as not to get emotionally attached to songs/lyrics/bands, etc... lately I have become obsessed with watching music videos and reading lyrics and reconnecting with what makes me feel whole.

How I envision my future cannot be done without music. I struggle to find the words that best explain what I think. What I feel. To do this without getting lost is a challenge. If I could disappear into my headphones, I would. I know I'm not the only one. And yet surrounded by all of this, I still feel alone. An odd place to be.

Inspired. Sad. Motivated. Stagnant. Determined. Fearful. I am all of these things. Thankfully, music has been and will always be the one thing I can count on.

What moves me/speaks to me/defines me...many from my youth and yet still stand true today.

"The child has grown, the dream is gone..." ~ Pink Floyd


"Thought I knew what love was, what did I know. Those days are gone forever, I should just let them go." ~ Don Henley


"I'm down to just one thing. And I'm starting to scare myself. You make this all go away. I just want something. I just want something I can never have." ~NIN


"I've felt the coldness of my winter. I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us...But I know that I love you so...These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall. This is the wonder of devotion - I seek the torch we all must hold." ~ Zeppelin


"They say they're gonna fix my brain. Alleviate my suffering and my pain. But by the time they fix my head, Mentally I'll be dead." ~ Suicidal Tendencies


"The deeper the blues the more I see black. Sweeter the bruise the feeling starts coming back. All the deepest blues are black." ~ Foo Fighters

Cumulatively speaking, it seems sad. But realistically, I know the difference. What makes it all better is knowing that somewhere in my future, a live gig is on the horizon. And that is by far the best bandaid I know.  Music is the only boyfriend I will ever truly need. He is always there at any given time of day or night and never ever disappoints.  ♥